I've been so absorbed in my world outside of the internet that I've barely been able to catch myself up on the goings-on of the web. Sure, I knew this was coming, but I sure did dread it!
I hate abandoning projects or just never finishing anything - it's one of the only things about myself that I truly and deeply hate - but the problem lies in how my life is so loosely scheduled. It's my general inability to balance things, perhaps, and sleep taking up a good 42% of any given day.
I think, besides actively blocking out my schedules months in advance, I need to start really policing my own sleep schedule. I've just got to accept that no matter what I do, I'll be exhausted, and I'll just have to do other things to prevent that from being an issue. Between upping the amount of caffeine I consume a day (nowhere near the 400mg limit, mind you) and taking some extra herbal supplements, hopefully I'll be able to get somewhere with that.

I actually managed to do a few things before work today - namely picking up a prescription and a gift for my cats - but just the thought of starting one activity before another with some amount of time limit gives me way more stress than it should.
I usually have to block out entire days do to something as simple as picking up a few groceries or going to an appointment. It's a mix of worrying that I'll be late to one engagement (or too early, which is my real vice) and worrying that I'll wear myself out too quickly. Perhaps training my general 'endurance' for multiple human activities is actually what I should be working on.

Really with all of this stress coming up to me like a rampaging bull, I'm starting to convince myself that I might not be able to take my usual "vacation" in April this year. My hope is to at least visit my friends out-of-state for a weekend; despite in years' past being able to stay for well over a week. It's as if becoming even more of an adult means sacrificing the few things that make me happy with no consequence - something that I've never had to deal with before.
Money is becoming less of an issue, at least, since I get paid a smidge earlier than I thought and I now have the best-paying job I've ever had... but what's the point of making money if I have no time to freely spend it? What balance can I gain if my life is overtaken by things I have to do?
Sigh.

☣ Feeling: Worn out
☣ Playing: Stardew Valley 1.6